Can I Keep Him?
Dad, I found a dog. I want to keep him. I know I don't need a dog, but this dog needs me. He
does need me! Winn Dixie , here boy! He is not a horse, dad! He's homeless, too. I know he
stinks. He needs all the help he can get. I can be my duty. Look, he's smiling at you.
Don't you love a dog with a sense of humor? He's a nice dog, isn't he? He's a great dog, isn't
he? Please, daddy, can I keep him? Look at him...he's skinny. He needs to be fed well and
bathed, too. Oh, please daddy, please. Please. He can stay! thank you, temporarily. I know it
sir, we're not getting our hopes up, are we Winn Dixie?
Pizza Order
Hello? (pause) Yes, I called because I want a complete refund on my pizza order. (pause) Ok, so the problem is that I ordered a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and extra pepperoni, but there are no toppings on the pizza. Just plain! I paid 6€ for this, and all I get is white and mushy, circle-shaped pizza dough? (pause) What? I have to flip the pizza? Why on earth would I have to do that?! (pause) So you’re telling me that if I flip it I will have all the toppings I asked for? Is this some kind of joke? The toppings won’t appear magically as soon as I flip the pizza! (pause) Ok, ok, I’ll try it, even if this makes no sense. (flips pizza and all the toppings are there) Oh, would you look at that, it actually worked! But this is still your fault because it was delivered to me flipped. Can you at least tell me who delivered this pizza because they should be fired instantly for giving it to me all lopsided? (pause) “NO”? Oh, alright then, I see how it is here. You just lost a customer, and that’s on you!
Best Teacher in the World
I’m telling you the truth. She is the best teacher in the world! She wears different colored overalls every day, and she keeps Sammy, our class hamster, in the front pocket. It’s so cute! His little head pops out now and then, and she just tucks him back in there. She also wears really cool glasses. You know, the big round kind? I hope someday I need glasses because that’s the kind I’m gonna get. Today, we got to write stories for the creative writing contest. Mine was about taking an elephant home from the zoo, and she said it was original and inspiring. I think that means I should become a writer when I grow up. Or a scientist because she taught us the names of all the planets, and I have already memorized all nine of them. And guess what? Next week, our class gets to have a dance party because we earned 100 marbles. I’m telling you! This is gonna be the best year of my life!
The Bug
I thought about smashing it, but then I remembered how bad I felt when I accidentally/on-purpose flushed my goldfish down the toilet. I thought I was setting him free. Free to swim out into the great wide ocean. My mom was pretty upset and she told me that the toilet water does not, in fact, lead to the ocean. So, I just sat there watching the little gray bug. They are called potato bugs. I don’t know why. I couldn’t resist. I poked him and he curled into a ball. After a minute or two, he opened back up and carried on his way. I wondered where he was headed. Maybe he was going home to his family who lives in a tiny hole in the earth. I wondered what it would be like to be that small. A pine needle would be like a log. A rock, like a mountain. My friend Keegan would have smashed him for sure. He likes to squish bugs to see what’s inside. But I left that bug alone. Instead, I laid down on the mossy ground and imagined life as a bug.